Freedom from the Orphan Mindset

~~Be sure to watch the short video at the end of the article.~~

Does He Really Love Me?

As individuals, the enemy attacks us most often in the area of our belief in God’s love for us. We know it intellectually, and have read all the verses, but somehow the enemy still tries to talk us out of believing the fact that God loves us. It seems easy to believe that God loves other people, but when it comes to our personal lives there seems to be a nagging question mark. We find ourselves laboring under a performance mentality that is based on perfecting ourselves in order to be accepted. It starts when seeking acceptance by people, but somehow we end up thinking we need to do the same to find acceptance by God. I love what Philip Yancey said, “There is nothing we can do to make God love us more, and there is nothing we can do to make God love us less.”

Many people struggle with what we call an orphan mindset. The orphan mindset is a pattern of thinking that often goes back to childhood. It has to do with thoughts, as well as emotions. If we continue in this mindset, it becomes a stronghold. This is a fortified citadel in our soul where the enemy dominates our thinking, emotions and self-perceptions.

The Oxford dictionary defines, “mind-set” as, “A habitual way of thinking,” and “stronghold” as, “A place that has been fortified against attack.” “…casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

I love this definition of a stronghold. “A mind-set impregnated with hopelessness that causes us to accept as unchangeable situations that we know are contrary to the will of God.” (Ed Silvoso)

Some of the strongholds people deal with are: fear, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, apathy, unbelief, depression, anxiety, lust, anger, pride and greed. Many of these can open the door to addiction.

The orphan mindset (often referred to as the orphan spirit) can cause utter destruction in someone’s life. The orphan mindset has brought more defeat, crippled more believers, ruined more relationships and derailed more destinies than just about anything the enemy can throw at an individual. It works with spirits of rejection, inferiority, fear, poverty and self-pity. It is one of the primary ways the enemy attempts to shut down intercession in someone’s life. It is very difficult to stop and pray for someone else when you are battling this mindset.

“The orphan spirit is not something you can cast out because it is ungodly beliefs and/or attitudes of our flesh that has been developing over a lifetime. It has become part of our personality and character.” (Jack Frost)

My Own Story of Victory

The orphan mindset is something I personally struggled with for many years. In my life it manifested primarily through inferiority and rejection. I’ve often said jokingly that, “I was going to write a book on rejection, but I was afraid nobody would read it.” Now through a combination of powerful Sozo inner healing ministry and declaring the Word of God over my life, I am free from the chains of an orphan mindset. Sometimes the enemy tries to entangle my thinking and emotions in those chains again. However, what previously wrecked me for days or weeks, I now overcome in just a few minutes. It is so great to be free. Trust me, if I can walk free from this scourge, anyone can.
Jesus said, “I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you.” (John 14:18)

The definition of the word orphan is, “A child whose parents are dead” (Oxford). Our heavenly father definitely isn’t dead, and He loves us very much. Do you know that God loves you, yes you, so much that He comes into your room at night and stands by your bed, strokes your hair, sings songs over you and adores you? Zephaniah 3:17 says, “The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Many of us could not imagine such a thing to be so, but it is.
I remember once I was standing by a lake on a dock just as the sun was going down. As I looked into the sky I beheld a breathtaking sunset. I don’t know if you have figured this out yet, but God is the most amazing artist in the universe. I began to talk to the Lord, and I told him that I thought that the sunset was amazing. He said something to me that I did not expect. He said, “I’m glad you like the sunset because I made that one just for you.” I said,” But Lord, there has to be other people that are seeing the sunset. He said, “Yes, there is. But I made this one just for you.” I was so overwhelmed with His love for me at that moment that I began to weep. It is a profound thought that the God of the universe would make an incredible sunset just for one of His.

Fruits of an Orphans Mindset

If we do not allow the Lord to bring us into freedom, the orphan mindset could bring some very harmful, rotten fruit into our lives. This way of thinking often opens the door to the fruit of having a poverty mentality. Because we think we’re undeserving, we never ask for anything for ourselves. When many of us grew up, we were trained not to ask for things. We would go spend the night at our friend’s house and we were told; “Now I don’t go asking for a bunch of stuff.” Rightly so, in case we got the idea to start rifling through our friend’s refrigerator. But in God’s house, He wants you to feel right at home. He wants you to be so familiar with Him that you’re not afraid to ask him for something. How many times did Jesus tell us to ask? Many of us have an attitude like Oliver Twist. We go to God and say, “Please sir, can I have some more?” Scripture is clear that God loves us very much and wants us to have the freedom to ask Him to meet our needs.

Another fruit born out of the orphan mindset are vows of self-protection. It often becomes a defense mechanism to prevent further wounding. It causes us to look at people with suspicion, especially people who remind us of those who previously hurt us. The vows we make usually start with the words, “I’ll never….” These kinds of statements give the enemy legal right to keep binding us up.

The next fruit is that we end up living with this continual feeling of being in trouble. We live with a knot in our stomach for no apparent logical reason. We just feel like we’re not getting “it” right, even if we don’t know what “it” is. It is that feeling you get when you have done something wrong and you know you’re about to get severely corrected by an unloving authority such as a mean parent, boss or teacher. The problem is that you’re not in trouble, but you feel in trouble.
I have actually had times when I was going through my day and noticed that I had this anxious feeling in my stomach. I would then think really hard about what might be wrong. Then I would ask the Lord if He knew of anything. After that if I could not put my finger on it, I knew that it was from the enemy. I would then declare, “Whatever this is, I command you to leave now in Jesus’ name” and the feeling left. It is not our inheritance to go around with this sick feeling or overwhelming thought that I’m getting it wrong and I’m in trouble. Orphan thinking is all about performance and how I am not measuring up in someone’s eyes. God wants you to know that He loves you, is for you, and you are not in trouble. He will bring conviction, but never condemnation.

The next rotten fruit is twisted perceptions. When we’re dealing was something like rejection, it affects us deep in our emotions. Now there’s nothing wrong with emotions. Where it goes wrong is when the enemy brings a lie into our mind and we filter it through our emotions to make it seem more real. We have come to believe that if our emotions tell us something, it has to be real. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. Just because a thought goes through our emotions and we have an emotional response, it does not change the fact that what was communicated is still a lie. It goes through our orphan mindset filter and because we feel it, we are tempted to believe it.

This especially applies to entire areas of rejection. People will reject us for various reasons. The only problem is that when we have an orphan mindset, rejection on the level of a 3 or 4 is perceived as a 9 or 10. Our reaction to the rejection and our personal offence relating to it are much worse.

We can react to a perceived rejection that is not even real. How many of us, when someone has given us a strange look, we just knew they had something against us? When we got the courage to go and see what was wrong, they told us everything was fine, and there was nothing there. We got all wrecked inside for nothing. We need to let the Lord heal us from an orphan spirit; then we will be able to have proper perceptions of what is really going on, and go on to forgive those who reject us.

There are many other negative fruits that come from an orphan mindset; things such as the sense of feeling left out, the temptation to isolate and withdraw, loneliness, depression, suspicion and mistrust, just to name a few. We must come into healing and realize that Jesus took all this for us so that we don’t have to carry it ourselves.

“He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted.” (Isaiah 53:3-4)

Spirit of Adoption

The answer to an orphan spirit is the spirit of adoption. “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15)

My wife Darla and I had the privilege of adopting three of our five children. I thought it very interesting that when we went to the lawyer’s office to finalize the adoption, we were presented with a new birth certificate for the child. This birth certificate legally rewrote their history. The word adoption is nowhere on the certificate. It states their new name and that they were born into our household on their birthday. When we are born again into God’s family, we are not seen as wanna-be children, but actual children. God wants us to be baptized in the spirit of adoption and confront every thought, every emotion, and every word that is not in agreement with His love for us.

The bottom line is that He is a “GOOD, GOOD FATHER”, He is for you, He accepts you, He believes in you and He loves you… so much!